At the risk of a poo-storm from readers (all two of you) for allowing such a thing to take place in my own home, I’ve decided to share with you all a rather interesting diagram that the Boyfriend – drawing on closing argument skills learned during trial advocacy classes – doodled on the dry-erase board on my fridge while I was making dinner the other night.
He didn’t draw cutesie hearts. He didn’t draw flowers. He didn’t even draw a happy face. No, no, no. For some reason, he felt the need to illustrate his idea of what happens to women (not me, dear readers, I assure you) during that time of the month complete with running commentary using the LOLcat fridge magnets he got me as a gift.
With the zest of a football coach drawing out plays, he drew a little stick figure wearing a dress with arrows flowing out of it and into its little head. Apparently, while stuff flows out during that special time, the same stuff also flows into women’s heads, triggering a sea of irrational and unpredictable behavior.
According to the Boyfriend’s diagram, this leads to a panicked boyfriend who stays in a panicked state for seven days, when, finally, the crazy settles down, and all is right with the world. It’s all very scientific, at least according to him.
I would like to say for the sake of women everywhere – and in solidarity with my exsanguinating sistahz – that I didn’t feed him dinner that night.
But I did.
Girl power fail.
My head is fuzzy. My temples are throbbing more painfully than Fabio’s parts in those books of his. And I have facts, objections and numbers dancing through my head. It was a kitchen knife! Relevance! Improper character evidence! 403! 404! 609!
For me, this could mean only one thing: preparation for this semester’s off-campus mock trial competition has begun.
Since I had the opportunity to compete earlier this year during my 2L Spring semester and to see the Boyfriend kill it during his own mock trial competitions, I thought and hoped that this semester things would come much more easily. That I would be less Legally Blonde (during the first part of the movie) and more My Cousin Vinny (during the second half of the movie, of course).
I’m a third year. I should totally have about two-thirds the skills of practicing attorneys, right?
No such luck, nerds. I have not become some slick courtroom savant over the summer, nor have all the Federal Rules of Evidence planted themselves conveniently in my head.
Nope. I still have to labor over how exactly to order questions in my direct examination, and how to cross examine a witness with the ease exhibited by our trial coaches, who dance around witnesses as gracefully as Fred Astaire and as lethally as Muhammad Ali.
Still, despite my fuzzy brain and the even fuzzier points of the Federal Rules of Evidence, mock trial has been one of my favorite parts of law school. Despite the hard work required to cure me of my ignorance on some topics, and the time taken away from watching my K-Dramas, I love, love, love it!
Let the trials begin!
A note from the Blawgirl: Penned Posts are short, handwritten blog entries penned and published by the Blawgirl based on the premise that some folks thought her handwriting was pretty cool and made math homework look like the Constitution. Once again, thanks for reading!
Note from the Blawgirl: I was originally going to title this post “Summer blows away” as an homage to the lyrics from The Decemberists song posted above. However, I got to thinking about just how magical the Interwebz is and how popular the name “Summer” is among certain professions, and realized that some folks might find this post looking for something completely different, if you catch my drift. Anywho, read on!
It’s Monday morning here in the O.C. (as those who are not originally from Orange County and who get made fun of by the O.C. kids call it), and the day seems to know that the weekend is over.
It also seems to know that the summer has snuck away – and won’t come out to play again until I head over to Buenos Aires with the Boyfriend in December – as the local flock of wild parrots screech against a backdrop of gray, gloomy clouds.
Totally loving the cloudy weather. Totally not loving the fact that it’s Monday.
Goodbye, weekend. Goodbye, summer. I’ll miss you.
Photo by werriston at lomography.com
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